Scott’s COVID-19 quarantine checklist

The pandemic is coming. There’s nothing we can do to stop it, so we might as well lean into it and make it a good time. This handy-dandy guide to pre-quarantine shopping will transform your coronavirus into an awesome Corona beach party. Rice and beans. A hearty source of calories, protein, and thunderous farts with

I ate a Dunkin’ Beyond Sausage sandwich the other day

It was fine. I might even give it slightly better than fine. That little patty packed a nice spicy, sausage-y punch, although the softer texture didn’t provide the satisfying juxtaposition you get from pork sausage and the patty itself seemed a bit small. It’s acceptable. By far the biggest drawback of the Beyond sandwich is

Sox trade Mookie, everything sucks

After far too long of a process, the Boston Red Sox dealt All-Universe outfielder Mookie Betts and All-Dink starting pitcher David Price to the Los Angeles Dodgers in what turned into a greasy baseball threesome. The Dodgers sent promising young outfielder Alex Verdugo to the Sox in return and then shipped solid Non-Dink starter Kenta

Tell me which Democratic presidential candidate you’re voting for and I can tell you the domain of your email provider

Whilst pondering this evening’s Iowa caucuses I devised my favorite tweet in a very long time. If you tell me you're voting for Biden I will know for a fact you have a Comcast email address. — Scott Colby (@ColbyKnowsBest) February 4, 2020 https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js When I finished chuckling at my own wit I realized I

Cheaters usually prosper

As expected, Major League Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred came down hard on the Houston Astros for their camera and trash can based sign stealing during the 2017 season. General manager Jeff Luhnow and manager A.J. Hinch were both suspended from the game for a year, and the Astros themselves were fined and stripped of several

Grandma Tessie’s homestyle peanut butter and jelly sandwich recipe

Few sandwiches are more satisfying than the good ol’ PB & J. Whether it’s packed for a picnic, taken along to work, or just enjoyed at home, the peanut butter and jelly sandwich is an All-American comfort food that hits the spot in any situation! My favorite version of this scrumptiously simple sandwich has been

I enjoyed Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker…but that trilogy stinks

I don’t expect much from modern Star Wars movies. Give me some fun Jedi shit, a few neat spaceships, and a couple interesting new creatures and generally keep things moving I’ll gladly fork over $15 and a couple hours of my time. That’s why I think Rise of Skywalker is the best Star Wars movie

When I’m elected president

When I’m elected president, I promise to battle for more accurate cup measurements on coffee carafes. Hardworking Americans should not have to suffer through the vile lies of Mr. Coffees that promise six cups and then spit out a measly two and change. I shall solve our tight napkin holder crisis on day one of

I did not enjoy Uncut Gems

I went into Uncut Gems knowing next to nothing about it, other than that Adam Sandler is prominently involved and that the movie’s generating a bit of Oscar buzz. I left questioning every positive thought I’ve ever had toward film critics. Spoiler alert, by the way. Uncut Gems is an ugly, abrasive, senseless waste of

Stupid Amazon Ring conspiracy theory

I chuckle like an idiot whenever I hear some newscaster use the term “porch pirates.” It always makes me picture Jack Sparrow swinging onto someone’s front stoop to snag a box of freshly delivered goodies. In reality, it’s always just some disappointment in a cheap hoodie. That makes me sad. Such a news report, spiced