Sox trade Mookie, everything sucks

After far too long of a process, the Boston Red Sox dealt All-Universe outfielder Mookie Betts and All-Dink starting pitcher David Price to the Los Angeles Dodgers in what turned into a greasy baseball threesome. The Dodgers sent promising young outfielder Alex Verdugo to the Sox in return and then shipped solid Non-Dink starter Kenta Maeda to the Minnesota Twins, who then sent chunky and powerful pitching prospect Brusdar Graterol to the Sox to complete the Eiffel Tower.

This one’s complicated. Let’s hit the pros and cons.


  • Verdugo hit a robust .294/.342/.475 last season with strong defense and was considered a top twenty overall prospect the year before.
  • Graterol’s a tubby pitcher who hits 100 on his fastball as easily as I hit the X button on my Playstation controller. He’s also been a top 100 prospect on most major lists the last two years.
  • Tubby pitchers are the best.
  • Betts was probably going to walk at the end of this year anyway because the Sox have consistently low-balled him in extension talks.
  • We’ll never have to hear about Price’s cold fingers or dislike of NESN’s best color commentator ever the hell again.
  • Betts and Price are well positioned to fuck over the Yankees in the World Series.
  • This deal helps Red Sox ownership save enough money to buy at least three new yachts.
  • Sports talk radio has been hilarious since the trade and listening to townies trying to say “Brusdar Graterol” is my new favorite pastime.


  • Verdugo’s probably Andrew Benintendi 2.0, which is still a good player but not one that should be the centerpiece of a deal for the second best player of the last twenty years.
  • Graterol’s a tubby pitcher with past arm problems and his previous team was willing to give him up for a 31-year-old starter who’s never thrown more than 175 innings in a single season.
  • Tubby pitchers break.
  • Betts is so good statistically that his only real peers are some randos named Trout, Bonds, Mays, Williams, and Ruth.
  • We still have to put up with NESN, and the loss of Price leaves a pretty huge hole in the Sox pitching staff that probably isn’t going to be filled this late in the offseason.
  • The Yankees are still going to win the World Series.
  • Red Sox ownership will probably spend the savings on something stupid, like another newspaper or some step siblings for Wally.

Debating whether or not a deal had to happen is sort of fruitless at this point because the Sox dug their own grave on this one with a string of poor decisions following their World Series win. It was obvious they’d have to move on from Mookie after they backed up the Brinks truck for what was left of Chris Sale and Nate Eovaldi. John Henry’s public proclamation that the team needed to get under the luxury tax threshold certainly didn’t help their bargaining position.

Only time will tell how good Verdugo and Graterol can be, but one thing’s for sure: I wouldn’t wish the loss of a player of Mookie’s caliber on any fan base. Even the Yankees’.

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